Logan or Bogan?
Click the link above to decide! (With Thanks to ‘Eric the Tree’)
October 11, 2012
An interested bystander recently reported witnessing a tasteless display of one upmanship out in the car park of Bogan City Council after a recent meeting. Mayor Ham Hawker and Councillor Tom Turkey were seen engaged in a heated finger-wagging exchange. Our citizen bystander surreptitiously edged close enough to hear some of the banter which they later reported to your humble administrator.
Mayor Hawker: …”Are you kidding me, Turkey? I’m up to 5,327 photo shots in at least 4 local papers. You haven’t even cracked 4,000 yet.
Cr. Turkey: Yeah, but a lot of yours were repeat photos. I’ve counted 1,292 repeat photos where you were wearing the same dress. Those don’t count.
Mayor Hawker: Do so.
Cr. Turkey: Do not!
Mayor Hawker: Do so!
Cr. Turkey: Do not! And anyway, when are you gonna get a new haircut. You look like you just stepped out of an Elvis movie.
Mayor Hawker: I’ll get a new ‘do’ when you get a new hat, you wanker!
Cr. Turkey: Hey! Everyone likes my hat. They reckon it makes me look – you know – bushy.
Mayor Hawker: Wanker! Katter wannabe!
Cr. Turkey: Watch it Hawker! Doris Day clone.
Mayor Hawker: Urban cowboy! All hat and no cattle.
Cr. Turkey: Bogus bimbo! Media slut!
Mayor Hawker: Hah! Said the pot calling the kettle black. Gin-soaked gigolo!
Cr. Turkey: Clueless kewpie-doll!
At this point several nearby councillors stepped in to pull the combatants apart before fists began to fly. Contacted for a comment, radical activist I.M. Green opined in verse:
They both like to see their own face, plastered all over the place
Every time I open the paper. There they are. Fronting some new caper
I’d like to say more but I am loath. I’m just sick of seeing them both.